brittany nicole

Up until the month of October, I feel like I had been going through the motions in life. I was basically doing the bare minimum to get by, because I had become complacent with where i was in life. I was in a car accident on October 6, 2015 and that was the day I realized I haven’t really been my best self. In the moment where my car had been hit once and I saw the second car coming my way, my eyes began to water because I know this car is about to hit me hard and there was nothing I could do about it. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs out of fear because I was terrified and in pain. As I was placed on the stretcher, I remember asking the EMT guy to keep my skirt down. Only I would ask him that in the moment of an emergency. On the way to the ER in a neck brace, I’m so nervous and unsure of what’s about to happen next for me. While I was placed in a room by myself, I begin to pray heavily. I also started to quote Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future. 

Now in order for me to fully receive what God has in store for me in the near future, I have to come to terms with my past. Your past could be the only thing that is causing you to detour instead of facing your fears and walking in God’s favor. My past outlines the fact that I was raised by a single mother who loved me more than life. I was a fatherless child searching for love in all the wrong places, losing focus of my goals and aspirations in hopes that the guy I was dating would love me more if I worshipped the ground he walked on. I graduated from high school with honors, but barely made it out of college with my degree. I’ve judged people a thousand times because their sin was campus gossip and my sins never made it out on the scene much. I looked at girls funny who popped up pregnant out of wedlock… Then reality hits… It dawns on me that under 20 and pregnant could have easily been me. Playing Russian Roulette with motherhood, then praying to God for forgiveness. After my college graduation, nobody would hire me. I was single with nobody in my inbox trying to mingle. I was beginning to live out the struggle, living paycheck to paycheck from working 2 part time jobs.  I reached my lowest where I became suicidal, and just wanted to give up on this thing called life. I began to think I wasn’t enough, and that if I died at that period of time, my memory would live on. 

Can I just tell you that the only thing that gave me strength was my bible? A good word from the Lord pulled me out of that dark place I was holding myself captive in. I don’t want you to think that I just went from anti God to semi-perfect little christian girl overnight. I was raised in church from birth and dedicated my life to Christ at a young age. I strayed away because it became easier to live life according to the worldly views versus Godly ones. I began to realize that God loves me so much that it don’t matter where I been, HE is willing to be with me every step of the way wherever #IAM going. I’m willing to go wherever God leads me. I’ve been moved to ask for forgiveness to those that I may have offended in the last 2 years.  I’ve wrote a letter to my dad expressing how my life could have been so  different if his presence was more visible, but that I forgive him and I’m willing to move forward. I’m more supportive of my sister and her goals because for years, EVERYONE has been telling her to follow in my footsteps. I’m pushing her to be BETTER than me, and will gladly admit my flaws to her so that she doesn’t have to make the same mistakes in life that I did. 

You too can create change within your atmosphere, but you MUST face your fears first. 

Cheers to being your BEST self, and knowing that YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! 
#BNspired2day