brittany nicole

Wow! I almost forgot that I had a blog. Until I received notice on yesterday that my site’s plan had been renewed. I have not missed being a blogger or posting daily on social media. I still don’t know when I’m coming back full-time. But I have missed connecting with my “inspo crew”. The inspo crew is my circle of supporters, new and old. You should definitely subscribe to my newsletter. I have a give-a-way coming up soon to simply say Thank You and I don’t want you to miss the latest tea on my eventful life!

So much has happened in my life since October 1, good and bad. I honestly don’t know where to start, but felt led to write at 1:38am on Saturday, November 21.

DYK: I started blogging 6 years ago. It’s been the only thing that I’ve managed to do and love for such an extended period of time. I’ve taken breaks before and I always manage to come back. I love writing stories. I love inspiring others. Through the blog, I get to do a little bit of both.

2020 has been the year where so many things have transpired suddenly for so many people. Depending on how you view the negative also determines how much good you see in all of it, if any.

I thought I’d come and share a little snippet of what 2020 has looked like for me behind the scenes. I don’t write for likes or shares or sympathy. I write because it’s a hidden talent of mine that allows me to reach people who I may never actually cross paths with. It’s an amazing feeling to share my heart and know that my words will help someone, somewhere… and I’ll be forever grateful for this space.

For this quarter, here’s my top 5 blog posts still doing numbers without me being on social media to actually promote the blog. Crazy, right?

1. The Day of My Father’s Funeral published September 6, 2020
2. The Hurtful Truth published August 15, 2020
3. Me As A Grad Student Failure published August 29, 2020
4. To The Guy Who Ghosted Me published August 23, 2020
5. The Broke Auntie published July 29, 2020

All truth, no fluff is my kind of story-telling. I used to live a simple life. Actually my life to most would have definitely fell in the boring category. Boring was safe. I kind of liked it there. I had no issues being boring. Then I started getting a taste of life outside of the boring realm. You know, outside of those safe boundaries that I had grown so comfortable operating in. If I told you now, you wouldn’t believe me. Just stay tuned. I’ll share eventually.

I went from not listening to any secular music for years to knowing every single verse to WAP. If you’re super saved, don’t go researching anything. You don’t need google for worship and praise. lol

And some people will say, wow, big deal. But I had shut off watching tv and listening to the radio and setting an alarm. For people like myself, you have to remove every source of influence that you depend on to change gears. I did it for years and now I’m back doing some things but my consumption is limited because I don’t need those things as entertainment, I want to do those things. I still don’t watch tv at home now, but I have Netflix on my laptop (And I cancel the subscription for extended periods because I’m not watching enough to pay the fee monthly every month). I still don’t listen to the radio but my Pandora station and Youtube music playlist keep me in tune with some of the more recent hits and oldies but goodies. (I just want to be in full control of what I’m listening to on my hour commute to work everyday, but I also enjoy the ride in silence too)

And I still don’t set an alarm. That one blows my mind, still.

But the big deal is in this truth: As I slowly started allowing my ears to hear and my eyes to see more, I started to desire less and less accountability.

In 2020: anything and anyone that would hold me accountable to playing it safe or tip-toe around living outside of boring, I cut ties with. That’s actually the real reason why I’m off social media now. I didn’t want accountability of any kind.

“No reminders about what not to do. No reminders about what to do.”

Without accountability, I’ve still managed to get it right on some days. I’ve also managed to get it wrong on most days.

Have I read the Bible during this time consistently? No.

Have I attended church on Sunday during this time? Sometimes.

Have I managed to pray it through on some days? Barely.

But somehow, God has still sent reminders to me that regardless of how I view myself and what I desire… I still have purpose.

I wish I felt purposeful the majority of time. I wish purpose would stop challenging me. Purpose be knocking and I don’t want to answer because I’m aware of what’s on the other side. Purpose is work. And not always the easy kind that people boast about on social media.

Everybody “manifesting” but very few are maintaining.

Mainly because all things look different when you’re operating in purpose… in purpose and in season.

But to all of you who feel left out and as if it’s not your season just yet:

you matter.

You matter still. You matter even when the people who you open up to leave you hanging. You matter even if your job doesn’t appreciate you going the extra mile. You matter when the one you love doesn’t love you back with their words and/or actions. You matter when you don’t have it in you to pray. You matter when you give up your body to the wrong somebody. You matter when your heart is being crushed by the one you trusted most. You matter if you get pregnant out of wedlock. You matter when you miss the mark. You matter when your healing process sends you on a roller coaster of emotions (especially the ones that cause you to act out of character). You matter when you fail a class. You matter when mistakes are made, whether they’re publicized or kept secret. You matter, regardless.

And don’t let life let you forget because of the BS (boring stuff, duh) she tries to throw at you.

I’m not here to judge you or the decisions that you make or those that you have made in your past. Just know that if anyone gets it, I do.

Life isn’t always peachy. Life isn’t always fair.

Life is new beginnings. Life is love. Life is full of creative processes. Life is a teacher. Life is forgiveness. Life is about taking risks.

Life is a journey. Meant to be enjoyed. (By faith, of course.) Through the good and the more challenging parts.

One breath at a time. One step at a time.

Give yourself a chance. Give yourself life:

Breathe in and out.

Abundant life: Full of opportunity. Awaits you on the other side of frustration and disappointment and heartbreak and failure, etc.

It’s been tough but the beauty in all of it this year is that, I keep swinging.

You should too 🙂

I may miss. I may strike-out. I may never have another home run.

And God! (Yes, God still speaks to those who are trying to run in the opposite direction from him.) Life was never intended to be about capturing the home runs. More so about how you continue to show up at bat for yourself and others.

Be kind today to yourself and others. Give life today to yourself and others.

Notice I put you in front of others on purpose. 2020 helped remind me that there’s a time and place for all things. A time to be selfish and a time to be self-less. You can’t freely give anything to others if you struggle giving yourself the same. Giving others what you struggle giving yourself will always cost you something in the end. Take time to pour into you. Take a break to pour into you. Take up space to pour into you.

And I can guarantee that without trying sometimes, what you give you: others receive by default and you may never say a single word to them directly.

and if you are having suicidal thoughts, please know that you’re not alone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7. You can call 1-800-273-TALK for free and confidential support provided for people in distress, prevention, and crisis

Hold on my friend, your time will come. And when it does, you’ll be ready. Until then, keep going. The game of life just has more bases for you to run and more ground for your purpose to cover.

#BNspired2day